Ben has one dog. Jake has two fish How many fish are there?

Ben has one dog. Jake has two fish. How many fish are there?.

Three. Ben's dog was just a red herring

Ben has 911 candies. He eats 420. What does he have now?.

Diabetes.

Ben has diabetes.

Open Up, This is police...

Police: Open Up,This is police we need to talk.

Jake : How many of you are out there ?

Police: Two of us

Jake: Talk to each other.

Me- You wanna hear a joke.

Jake- Sure

Me- Pussy

Jake- I don't get it.

Me- HA! You just said you don't get pussy. HAHAHAHA

Ryan-Hahaha! Jake doesn't get pussy! HAHAHAHA

TIL that Swedish Fish are actually shaped like Sweden, not fish.

Yeah, it turns out the fish part is a red herring.

Uncle Ben has died.

That's it, no more Mr. Rice Guy!

Snake Bite.

for help"

Jake whips out his cellphone and called a doctor.

Doctor: "hello?"

Jake: "i need help! My friend got bitten by a snake!"

Doctor: "alright, first you need a rope and tie down the part of the body that got bitten so the venom doesn't spread"

Jake: "and then?"

Doctor: "you must suck the part that has been bitten to get the venom out"

Jake: "alright doc"

Jake hangs up his cellphone and looked at John.

John: "what did the doctor say?"

Jake just stayed silent for a few seconds and said

Jake: "he said you are going to die"