Before going to party my dad said, "Don't bring any girls home, tonight"

Before going to party my dad said, "Don't bring any girls home, tonight.".

That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me.

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I'm curious what my vegetarian friend will bring to the superbowl party tonight.

I'm curious what my vegetarian friend will bring to the superbowl party tonight.

Hopefully it's an apology.

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So I caught the realtor selling luf house sniffing my sisters underwear....

So I caught the realtor selling luf house sniffing my sisters underwear....

Pretty weird considering my dad is the one selling our house

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Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?.

Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?.

Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say, "TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY".

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My sister asked for me to bring her something hard to write on.

My sister asked for me to bring her something hard to write on.

I don't know why she became so mad. It's pretty fucking hard to write on sand.

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A man moves to a new neighborhood.

A man moves to a new neighborhood.

After a few days his neighbor knocks on his door

"I'm having a party tonight" says the neighbor "you should come over. But I should let you know, my parties tend to get pretty wild. There will be a lot of drinking, probably some fighting, and some really crazy sex."

"Sounds like fun" responds the man. "Should I bring anything?" he asks.

"That shouldn't be necessary" the neighbor says. "It will just be the two of us".

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There's a huge party at the orphanage tonight.

There's a huge party at the orphanage tonight.

Their parents are gone.

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