"Masturbation" is such a harsh word...
I prefer "Hand-to-gland combat".
Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy. It releases dopamine and reduces stress. Improves prostate gland and cardiovascular health.
Still got thrown off the bus.
I prefer masturbating only when I'm completely naked.
Don't like that? Go to a different Starbucks!
Lazy is such an ugly word, I prefer the term selective participation.
How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?.
"Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it."
Slavery is such an ugly word...
I prefer the term lifetime unpaid internship.
Just a reminder.
In Swedish, the word Gråtrunka means to cry while masturbating, and the fact that they needed a word for that is a real...tear jerker