"Masturbation" is such a harsh word..

"Masturbation" is such a harsh word...

I prefer "Hand-to-gland combat".

Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy. It releases dopamine and reduces stress. Improves prostate gland and cardiovascular health.

Still got thrown off the bus.

I prefer masturbating only when I'm completely naked.

Don't like that? Go to a different Starbucks!

Lazy is such an ugly word, I prefer the term selective participation.

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?.

"Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it."

Slavery is such an ugly word...

I prefer the term lifetime unpaid internship.

Just a reminder.

In Swedish, the word Gråtrunka means to cry while masturbating, and the fact that they needed a word for that is a real...tear jerker