Gravity is a harsh mistress..

Gravity is a harsh mistress...

*... but she has reasonable rates!*

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My wife went to Jupiter and found pictures of me and a mistress.

My wife went to Jupiter and found pictures of me and a mistress.

She was crushed. My mistress asked what the big deal was... she didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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Hey girl are you the force of gravity?.

Hey girl are you the force of gravity?.

Because I'd rate you a -9.8

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Has the harsh winter turned you into a snow beast?.

Has the harsh winter turned you into a snow beast?.

Not Yeti.

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A man steps into a brothel (nsfw).

A man steps into a brothel (nsfw).

He approaches the head mistress and says what can I get for $5? The head mistress takes him to a room with a morbidly obese woman. He doesn't enjoy it but it got the job done. Next week he goes back and tells the mistress he only has $4 this time so she takes him to a room with a chicken in... read more

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My sister is an expert pastry-maker.

My sister is an expert pastry-maker.

She has to be to stay employed, her job has a high turnover rate.

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Not to make light of the gravity of the situation,.

Not to make light of the gravity of the situation,.

But this quarantine has really brought my wife and I closer together. We have both gained so much weight that we are increasingly attracted to one another, by gravity.

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More jokes about: #Gravity #Gained #Situation #Gain