I've just been to visit my friend's new baby..

I've just been to visit my friend's new baby...

She asked me if I wanted to wind him.

But I thought that was a bit harsh, so I gave him a dead leg instead!

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ROCK A BYE BABY ON THE TREE TOP WHEN THE WIND BLOWS THE BASS WILL DROP JKBFRGJKEJGHKFQ3FGKUYD2FTUDEUKY

ROCK A BYE BABY ON THE TREE TOP WHEN THE WIND BLOWS THE BASS WILL DROP JKBFRGJKEJGHKFQ3FGKUYD2FTUDEUKY

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How did the linguistics professor punish the late student?.

How did the linguistics professor punish the late student?.

He gave him a harsh sentence.

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You know what winds me up.

You know what winds me up.

it's not people that say ectcetera when they mean etcetera, tenderhooks instead of tenterhooks or even asterix instead of asterisk .It's people who say the travelling community when they mean thieving pikey bastards

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My 14yo son asked me what a corset was.

My 14yo son asked me what a corset was.

I told him a corset was like a cassette except instead of playing music, it squishes ladies intestines together.My 8yo daughter then added, "That's why they have undigested babies."(true story)

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There are people who have green thumbs.

There are people who have green thumbs. And then there's me, Ms. Black Thumb. I didn't think anyone else noticed until the day my sister visited. "I found this in the yard," she said, handing me a potted plant as she came in the door. "I think the wind blew it off your deck." "It wasn't the wind," my husband joked. "It jumped."

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"Masturbation" is such a harsh word...

"Masturbation" is such a harsh word...

I prefer "Hand-to-gland combat".

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