The midget vampire woke up from his 100-year slumber

The midget vampire woke up from his 100-year slumber.

His first words were: "Huh... I'm a little stiff".

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Why couldn't the undead midget finish the zombie race?.

Why couldn't the undead midget finish the zombie race?.

He was a little stiff

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Have you heard the joke about the hearse that only carries midgets?.

Have you heard the joke about the hearse that only carries midgets?.

The delivery is always a little stiff.

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More jokes about: #Hearse
A few nights after his wives funeral, Edward woke up stiff as a rod.

A few nights after his wives funeral, Edward woke up stiff as a rod.

Mourning wood.

Original

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3 vampires are having a competition to prove who's the most vicious vampire among them.

3 vampires are having a competition to prove who's the most vicious vampire among them.

The strongest one started 1st, "watch this," He said as he flies so fast, about 100 miles/hour. After only 10 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth. "what happened?" they asked. "did you see that house over there?" "yes?" "well.. I killed the entire family and sucked the blood dry!" "... read more

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It was hard and wet for her.

It was hard and wet for her.

learly. Every student woke up from their deep slumber. One of them asked, “It was hard and wet for who???” “My daughter, of course!” the professor audibly replied. Now the college students were more awake and alert than they’ve ever been.

“In what context?” yelled another student.

“My daughter went camping and slept in a tent after it rained. The ground was hard and wet.”

The students went back to sleep.

What her daughter sleeping on a hard and wet floor in a tent has to do with economics is still a mystery to me.

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Three vampire brothers decide to hold a competition to see which one of them is the most powerful.

Three vampire brothers decide to hold a competition to see which one of them is the most powerful.

The first brother is the strongest."Watch this," he says, and takes off at nearly 100 miles per hour. Two minutes later, he returns, his mouth covered in blood."What happened?!" his brothers exclaimed."You see that mansion over there?""Yeah?""Well, I went over... read more

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