After a crazy night on the town, all I can remember before blacking out is paramedics approaching me with a stretcher

After a crazy night on the town, all I can remember before blacking out is paramedics approaching me with a stretcher.

I guess I got carried away.

I went to the hospital to buy a stretcher and they said do you want to try before you buy?.

I said no thanks, I don't want to get carried away.

It's crazy. One minute you're getting drunk as a skunk, then next thing you know, you're in the back of an ambulance.

I really shouldn't be a paramedic.

So I was at the Red Cross...

Shopping for a stretcher. The assistant asked if I'd like try it out before I bought it. I thought "Nah, I don't wanna get carried away."

Mickey approaches Minnie and says.

-Minnie, I want a divorce.-What? Are you fucking crazy?-No, I'm fucking Daisy.

A guy is speeding and he sees a cop on the overpass above him pointing a radar gun.

?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher."

"A rectum stretcher? What in the world is that?" asks the cop.

"Oh," the guy says, "we take an ordinary rectum and use spreaders to widen it. After a few hours of work we can stretch it to over 72 inches."

"That's crazy!" exclaims the cop, "what in the world do you do with a stretched out 6 foot asshole?"

"We put him at the top of an overpass and stick a radar gun in his hand."

Guys i just got laid.

...down a stretcher because i fell down the stairs