Best 410 L Jokes and Puns

One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand.

One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand. The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. "But Miss, I am bursting to go," said Jimmy. "You may go, but after you say the full alphabet." "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z," he said. Catching his mistake, the substitute asked, "Jimmy, where is the 'P?'" He answered, "Halfway down my legs, Miss."

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Girl: You're stupid!

Girl: You're stupid!

Boy:No I'm not!

Girl: okay then sing the alphabet!

Boy Ok here it is a,b,c,e,f,g,h,I,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z. Done!

Girl: you missed out a letter!

Boy: I know I'll give you the d later...

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Me: Can I go to the restroom?

Me: Can I go to the restroom?

Teacher: Say the alphabet first.

Me: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O - Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Wheres the P?

Me: Running down my leg.

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Blonde Asks Anant - Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE-

Blonde Asks Anant - Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE-

Anant : I know , it's

C-Come,

O-On,

L-Lets,

L-Love,

E-Each,

G-Girl,

E-Equally……

Thats why boys go to college regularly

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pun
Nerd Rap:

Nerd Rap:

People always ask why I act like those nerds,

Why I correct grammar and why I use big words.

Stupid... is officially whack.

Man you look real fly, but you can't spell cat!

Popularity's irrelevant; Gotta be intelligent.

Stay in the books, and you'll be the new president.

Got an A+; they all made fun of me.

Grew up, now they're working for my company.

L-O-L, exclamation point, send!

I'm so awesome; want to be my friend?

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More jokes about: #Funny
Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father.

Growing up, Samuel L. Jackson didn't have a mother and a father. He had a mother and a motherf*cker.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Celebrity
Lady (to her doctor): What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.Doctor: How come?Lady: According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches.

Lady (to her doctor): What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.Doctor: How come?Lady: According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches.

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More jokes about: #Short #Doctor
Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?.

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?.

His toga size went from L to XL.

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More jokes about: #Size #Dieting #Diet #Toga #Thrilled
PSA to all Colin's out there that spell your name with only one L...

PSA to all Colin's out there that spell your name with only one L...

You are one L of a guy.

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Spelling bee in heaven.

Spelling bee in heaven.

A married woman named Harriet was very ill and passed away. When she ascended into heaven, an angel was waiting for her. The angel said, "You can be allowed into heaven, if you spell a word for me." Harriet replies, "OK, what's the word?"

"The word is love."

"L-O-V-E, love." Harriet spells.

"Welcome to heaven, but before you go in, can you watch the gate for me? I have to go do something. If someone comes up you know what to do" the angel asks.

"Okay," and the angel flies away. A couple minutes later her husband, Harry, comes to Heaven. Harriet asks him,

"What are you doing here," and he replies,

"I got so lonely back at home, that I decided to kill myself to come here with you." Harriet then says,

"Well, you have to spell a word to pass to heaven." Harry says,

"Okay, what's the word." Harriet says,

"Czechoslovakia."

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More jokes about: #Gate #Bee
"I may never trust my sister Linda again," a brunette woman told her blonde friend.

"I may never trust my sister Linda again," a brunette woman told her blonde friend.

"What happened?" asked the blonde."Yesterday," said the brunette, "I came home from work and heard a strange noise coming from the bedroom. I went upstairs and saw my husband lying in bed. He looked exhausted. I asked him what was up, and he said he was having a heart attack. Just as I was l... read more

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More jokes about: #Noise #Exhausted
Two bad drivers, a man and woman, crashed into each other on a countryside road.

Two bad drivers, a man and woman, crashed into each other on a countryside road.

l seemed very flustered.

In the woman's purse was a small bottle of brandy.

'Would you like a sip, sir? It'll calm your nerves,' asked the lady.

'Go on then,' the man replied before taking a few glugs from the bottle.

'Would you like any?' said the man, his head now a bit cooler.

'I think I'm fine for now,' said the woman. 'I think I'll wait for the cops to decide who's fault the crash was first.'

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More jokes about: #Glug
God created Canada.

God created Canada.

On the 6th day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains,beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-l... read more

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A farmer was on his death bed.

A farmer was on his death bed.

l told him if you give me your duck I will let you make love to me so he did after making love the girl was so happy she told him if he makes love to her again she will give the duck back to him,so he did but after that he got weak, then he proceeded to sell his duck while on the way a car knocked him over and the duck got killed. He got up and cleaned his clothes the car driver apologized to him and gave him 20$ for the dead duck.

All three sons went back to home and father asked them about the duck,

1st son told he sold the duck for 10$,

2nd son told he sold the duck for 15$.

So the father asked the 3rd son,

well 'said the 3rd son'

I got a fuck for a duck

Then I got a duck for a fuck and

I got 20$ for the fucked up duck.

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3 prisoners on their execution day.

3 prisoners on their execution day.

There were 3 prisoners: Prisoner A, Prisoner B and Prisoner C. They were going to be shot by soldiers on top of a cliff.So the first day, it was the Prisoner A. He was taken to the cliff and the soldiers asked, "Any last words?" Prisoner A yelled, "TYPHOON!" so the soldiers ran and l... read more

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Old timer sitting on his porch and saw a kid pass by carrying a duck tape.

Old timer sitting on his porch and saw a kid pass by carrying a duck tape.

Old timer sitting on his porch and saw a kid pass by carrying a duct tape. Old timer asked the kid "hey son what are you going to do with that duct tape?" The boy said " im going to catch some ducks with it". Old timer said " you cant catch ducks with that". The boy said "watch me old man".L... read more

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More jokes about: #Porch #Duct #Tape
A substitute teacher was beginning her first class...

A substitute teacher was beginning her first class...

A substitute teacher is beginning her first class. Five minutes after it starts, a boy walks in. "Class started five minutes ago, why are you late?" The teacher asked. "I was on top of Blueberry Hill," He replied. The teacher shook her head at the boy and sent him to his desk. Five minutes l... read more

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A man walks into a diner one day and orders a bowl of chili but the waitress says she gave the last of it to a guy sitting nearby who is just staring at it.

A man walks into a diner one day and orders a bowl of chili but the waitress says she gave the last of it to a guy sitting nearby who is just staring at it.

After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He l... read more

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More jokes about: #Waitress #Chili #Crunch
A couple goes to a marriage counselor.

A couple goes to a marriage counselor.

The counselor asks, “What brings you two here today?” The wife says, “He takes everything literally, l can’t stand it anymore!”The husband says, “My truck.”

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After observing that the employees are leaving the tap running and wasting water...

After observing that the employees are leaving the tap running and wasting water...

Just above the sink, the boss put a sign up in big bold letters 'THINK'Next day, hoping that it would've gotten the message across, the boss heads straight to the same area to find the water still running and just above the soap dispenser, someone had put a new sign up in the same big bold l... read more

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