About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit ..."
Kickass this if your bored and you went on a joke website.
What's Blonde and dead in a closet? The Hide and Seek Champion from 1995.
How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Kickass this if you like titties
Lazy People Fact #5812672793
You were too lazy to read that number.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to be positive, but it's hard without him.
A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it sum ting Wong.
Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap.
Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example.
Ain't it funny how the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind your car.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong ...
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
I'll change my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts,and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this