Best 175 Lol Jokes and Puns

Boy texted his dad saying

Boy texted his dad saying

Boy:I got expelled

Dad: WHAT WHY

Boy: cos we had this lesson about bulling and the teacher said sticks and stones may break my bone but words will never hurt me

Dad: and

Boy: so I threw a book at her face and it broke her nose

Dad : lol that's my boy

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More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
There is a little girl on a bike and a cop

There is a little girl on a bike and a cop

On a horse. The cop goes up to the

Little girl and says " did you get that

Bike from Santa?" Little girl says yes.

The cop says next year ask Santa for

Some reflectors and the cop gave her

A $5 fine. Then the girl replies hey cop

Did Santa get you that horse for

Christmas. He says yes. She says tell

Santa next year put the dick on the

Bottom of the horse not the top. LOL!!

My dad is trying to get 500 jackass!!!!

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Teacher: "It's better to fail than to cheat!"

Teacher: "It's better to fail than to cheat!"

Me: "Lol no b*tch. It's better to cheat than to repeat”

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More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
Pupil: A pupil in class was banging her calculater on the table because it wasnt working.

Pupil: A pupil in class was banging her calculater on the table because it wasnt working.

Teacher: Erm what are you doing!?

Pupil: My calculater isnt woking.

Teacher: Well you dont have to bang it on the table i mean im sure you wouldnt like it if i banged you on the table!

Whole Class: [Laughing out loud] LOL

Do you get it ??????????

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Guys, this was actually a real tweet from the actor Morgan Freeman.

Guys, this was actually a real tweet from the actor Morgan Freeman.

@FreemanVerified: I'm still alive you stupid f*cktards. Please stop confusing me with #NelsonMandela. Thank you.

(it's a true tweet)LOL

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More jokes about: #Funny
Bully: LOL!

Bully: LOL! I bet you haven't dropped yo bollocks yet!

You: Ask your mother, I dropped em down her down throat yesterday.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
Why do we need School?

Why do we need School?

Music: we have YOUTUBE for that

Sport: There's wii

Spanish: There's Dora

English: everything's shortened anyway (LOL,BRB,IDK)

Maths: that's why we have calculators

Geography: I'll buy a globe

History: they're all dead anyway

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More jokes about: #Funny #Anti humor
John angrily looked at the text he had just received from his Mom.

John angrily looked at the text he had just received from his Mom.  It read: “Professor called to say you failed the course.  LOL.  Mom. ”  How could he have failed?! … And all his Mom has to say is that she’s Laughing Out Loud?!  Fed up, he text-ed his Mom: “What was up with the LOL?”  his text said.   “I just wanted to send you Lot’s Of Love because I know how disappointed you must be.”

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share me!

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More jokes about: #Funny #Stories #Old #People #Women
Comeback Queen #1: Rich or Poor I care no more.

Comeback Queen #1: Rich or Poor I care no more.

Ok so this mean girl came into my house and she called me poor, just because she had more money than me :/

These were some actual moments:

Girl: EEw what is this crap on your walls?

Me: a mirror.

LATER:

Girl: Hey ha ha I have Subway Surfers on my phone.

Me: Cool so do I.

Girl: YOU have a PHONE?

Me: yeah *shows phone*

Girl: ha ha but there are cracks in it!

Me: speaking of cracks and buts, you should pull up your pants.

LATER:

Girl: well noow that I'm leaving might as well give you advice.

Me: which is?

Girl: avoid your face!

Me: I don't have time cuz I'm already avoiding yours.

Girl: GRRR hey where did you get your crap clothes?!?!?!

Me: The same place you got your life.

Girl: Did you google these comebacks?!!?!? (lol some of them yesh)

Me: Did you google your insults?

Girl: go back your cage! I'm going to my large condo!

Me: Yeah Hell's pretty big, isn't it?

Girl: of course you'd know that.

Me: I know lots of things because I'm not home schooled. ( no offense if you're home schooled but this girl was retarded)

Girl: I have nickname for you! WANNABE!

Me: I have lots of nicknames for you right now.

Girl: I HAVE THE POWER TO SUE YOU!

Me: you're lucky you don't have the power to read minds.

Girl: That's it! I'm leaving! *gets in car* BYE POOR KIDS!

MY friend: that sucks she gets the last word.

Me: Nope. I put some bug attractor in her hair spray.

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More jokes about: #Funny
A black guy and a Mexican jump off a cliff.

A black guy and a Mexican jump off a cliff. Who wins?

Society lol

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More jokes about: #Funny #Racial
Wife teaching English to husband

Wife teaching English to husband

Wife: I'm beautiful, i'm slim, i'm hot, what tense is this?

Husband: Past tense! lol

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More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
Bitch: Omg your wore that shirt yesterday!!!

Bitch: Omg your wore that shirt yesterday!!! LOL

Me: Yeah well you see in my house I have a amazing thing called a washing machine.

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More jokes about: #Funny
Me: Hey Miss have you seen the clown that hides from gay people in Target?

Me: Hey Miss have you seen the clown that hides from gay people in Target?

Teacher:No I haven't

Me: Haha LOL

Teacher: Huh....... oh right that's funny detention at lunch.

Me: It was so worth it.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pun
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before New Year and when they arrive i'll say I ordered this last year, LOL

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before New Year and when they arrive i'll say I ordered this last year, LOL

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More jokes about: #Funny
True Text meanings

True Text meanings

BRB: I don't wanna talk to you

LOL: I don't have anythings else to say

COOL: I really don't care

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More jokes about: #Funny
Many times do you have to tickle a squid to Make it laugh?

Many times do you have to tickle a squid to Make it laugh? Ten tickles ! Lol

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More jokes about: #Funny #Animal
All I want for Christmas is you, lol JK, I want an iPhone 5.

All I want for Christmas is you, lol JK, I want an iPhone 5.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Anti humor
Ellen Pao is actually right and we should respect her decisions.

Ellen Pao is actually right and we should respect her decisions.

^jk ^lol

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More jokes about: #Decision
What did the assassin say when his co-worker got the promotion?.

What did the assassin say when his co-worker got the promotion?.

I would've killed for that position lol

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More jokes about: #Promotion #Assassin
In a department store, where is your beauty?.

In a department store, where is your beauty?.

Aisle of the beholder.

Lol I hate myself.

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More jokes about: #Lol