Best 319 Marijuana Jokes and Puns

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!

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A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands... "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua.P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some marijuana.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some marijuana. Jack and Jill slipped down the hill and asked Jill if she wanna. She said "Yes" and dropped her dress and had a little fun. Jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son.

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to smoke some marijuana

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to smoke some marijuana

Jack got high and lost his fly and asked her if she wanna

She said yes, pulled her dress and had a little fun

Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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The only 2 states to have legal Marijuana are Colorado and Washington.

The only 2 states to have legal Marijuana are Colorado and Washington. The 2 best NFL teams are Seattle and Denver. Coincidence? I think not!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, unzipped his fly and they had a little fun,

Jill forgot to take the pill and now they have a son!

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Why parents have gray hair ..

why parents have gray hair ..

pened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

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More jokes about: #Gray #Hair
What did the Chinese vocalist do after smoking some marijuana?.

What did the Chinese vocalist do after smoking some marijuana?.

He Shanghai.

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Marijuana is legal and haircuts are against the law.

Marijuana is legal and haircuts are against the law.

It took half a century but Hippies finally won.

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A local casino is offering marijuana infused beef to their best bettors.

A local casino is offering marijuana infused beef to their best bettors.

That’s really high steaks for their high rollers.

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More jokes about: #Roller #Infused #Infuse
Yo momma is like marijuana, everyone did her but no one admitted it

yo momma is like marijuana, everyone did her but no one admitted it

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I call my Marijuana the Koran.

I call my Marijuana the Koran.

Because burning either one will get you stoned

^

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What do you call a Scot man that smokes marijuana?.

What do you call a Scot man that smokes marijuana?.

A Highlander

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A colleague of mine asked what I do for a living.

A colleague of mine asked what I do for a living.

I said "I sell marijuana."He replied, "So you're a drug dealer?""No. I'm a florist."

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Apparently the French have their own alternative for marijuana.

Apparently the French have their own alternative for marijuana.

They call it “ouid”.

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More jokes about: #Marijuana #Alternative
Someone should really put marijuana butter on popcorn and sell it...

Someone should really put marijuana butter on popcorn and sell it...

they could call it Mari Poppins.

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I'm thinking about investing in a marijuana dispensary.

I'm thinking about investing in a marijuana dispensary.

I hear it's a budding industry

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How many marijuana doritos does it take to screw in a legalized lightbulb?.

how many marijuana doritos does it take to screw in a legalized lightbulb?.

3. 1 to screw in the light bultb. 1 to smok the weed. and 1 to eat all theo CHEEHOTS

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More jokes about: #Legalized #Theo
If tea derived from marijuana becomes popular, eventually employees would require...

If tea derived from marijuana becomes popular, eventually employees would require...

Pot Tea Training.

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The guy who was convicted of a marijuana charge, had his case sent to a joint committee.

The guy who was convicted of a marijuana charge, had his case sent to a joint committee.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pun