# Best 925 Math Jokes and Puns

##### Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

More jokes about: #Math #Quotes #Stupid #Top #100
##### Teacher: Where the hell is your math homework?

Teacher: Where the hell is your math homework?!

Me: it committed suicide, had too many problems.

##### Q: Why is sex like math?

Q: Why is sex like math? A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

##### Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?" Student: "A drinking problem."

##### I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart.

I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart. But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky.

##### Boy: wanna be my girlfriend?

Boy: wanna be my girlfriend?

Girl: i have a boyfriend

Boy: i have a maths exam:

Girl: whats that suppose to mean?

Boy: i thought we were listing everything we can cheat on

##### Sex is like math add the bed subtract the clothes divide the legs and hope to god you don't multiply

sex is like math add the bed subtract the clothes divide the legs and hope to god you don't multiply

##### Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns \$500 a week and gives half to your mother.

Teacher: "Answer this math problem: if your father earns \$500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?" Student: "A heart attack."

##### My math teacher called me average.

My math teacher called me average. How mean!

More jokes about: #One #Liner #Puns #School
##### Sex is like math:

Sex is like math:

Subtract the clothes

Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply

##### A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there.

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

##### Girls are like math problems.

Girls are like math problems. If they are under 18, it's best you do them in your head.

##### Teacher: Since you were talking can you solve this problem?

Teacher: Since you were talking can you solve this problem?

Me: The problem is you and the answer/solution is for you to stay out of my busines.

Teacher : Where is your math homework?

Me: It commited suicide, it had too many problems.

##### Don't judge abook by it's cover...

Don't judge abook by it's cover...

My math book has a picture of someone enjoying themself.

##### That awkward moment when…

That awkward moment when…

you say goodbye to someone and then both walk in the same direction..

That awkward moment when…

someone tells you to stop clicking your pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it

That awkward moment when…

somebody is cross-eyed and you dont know which eye to look at.

That awkward moment when…

the guy who discovered milk had to explain to the village what he was doing to the cow.

That awkward moment when…

someone’s zipper is down you don’t know whether to tell, because you can’t explain why you were looking that low.

That awkward moment when…

you wave to someone and it turns out they were waving to the person behind you.

That awkward moment when…

someone isn’t txting you back and then you see them update their status from mobile…

That awkward moment when…

The your chair makes a farting noise no one believes it was the chair, so you try to do it again.

That awkward moment when…

That awkward moment when…

your teacher is helping someone with their work, and her ass is in your face

That awkward moment when…

you go to a friends yard sale .. and you see the gift you got them for their birthday is for sale!

That awkward moment when…

the someone says ”you two should go out!”

That awkward moment when…

Your at a friends house and thier dog won’t stop sniffing your crotch.

That awkward moment when…

you look up from your phone and the person you have been following around the supermarket isn’t your Mom.

That awkward moment when…

The awkward moment when you attempt to tickle someone’s armpit and end up feeling the moist on your fingers.

That awkward moment when…

that awkward feeling when you accidentally drop your phone in the toilet after using it, then take a deep breath and decide well I got to get it now.

That awkward moment when…

That awkward moment when…

you’re talking to yourself and start to smile like an idiot because you’re so hilarious.

That awkward moment when…

When you start telling a story and you realize no one’s listening, so you slowly fade out and pretend you never said anything.

That awkward moment when…

you realize you used the status bar instead of the search bar!

That awkward moment when…

you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious!

That awkward moment when…

when you tell a joke and nobody laughs then a few seconds later they all get it…

That awkward moment when…

someone asks you whats wrong and they are the problem

That awkward moment when…

That awkward moment when your dancing, then you turn around you realize someone has been watching you the WHOLE time.

That awkward moment when…

you get hung up on and you continue the conversation alone to attempt to fool the other people in the room..

That awkward moment when…

you do a math problem, and your answer isn’t even one of the choices.

That awkward moment when…

you are in the grocery store and someone is standing in front of the item you need, so you pretend to look at something else until they move.

That awkward moment when…

…that awkward moment after you call your girlfriend the wrong name.

That awkward moment when…

you think you wrote a great status and then nobody likes it…..

That awkward moment when…

you hold the door for someone and you’re left standing there for an eternity because they move at a turtle’s pace.

That awkward moment when…

U look in a car window to fix ur hair.. after standing there for 5 minutes… you see someone in the car…

That awkward moment when…

you struggle to open the door at the Gym

That awkward moment when…

your trapped in the corner of your shower because the cold water came out

That awkward moment when…

the weirdest kid in school is in a relationship and you’re still single.

That awkward moment when…

you mistakenly thought that a stranger from across the room was trying to get your attention and you pointed to yourself and mouthed the word “Meee?”

That awkward moment when…

a guys t*ts are bigger than yours

That awkward moment when…

an ugly person says “I need my beauty sleep” when they really need to hibernate…

That awkward moment when…

you’re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.

That awkward moment when…

you accidently send a flirty message to your girlfriend when it was supposed to go to another girl

That awkward moment when…

That awkward moment when…

you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.

##### Boy: "Hey, I like you and I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend."

Boy: "Hey, I like you and I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend." Girl: "I have a boyfriend." Boy: "I have math test tomorrow." Girl: "What does that have to do with anything?" Boy: "I thought we were listing things we could cheat on."

##### Sex is like math.

Sex is like math. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don't multiply.

##### Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Math Teacher: If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?

Student: A drinking problem.

More jokes about: #One #Liner #Alcohol #Rude #School
##### A hillbilly family's only son saves up money to go to college.

A hillbilly family's only son saves up money to go to college. After about three years, he comes back home. They are sitting around the dinner table, when the dad says, ''Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?''

''Ok, Pa.'' The son then says, ''Pi R squared.''

After a moment, the dad says, ''Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pie are round, cornbread are square.''

##### Why do we need School?

Why do we need School?

Music: we have YOUTUBE for that

Sport: There's wii

Spanish: There's Dora

English: everything's shortened anyway (LOL,BRB,IDK)

Maths: that's why we have calculators