Best 50 Mold Jokes and Puns

My dentist needed to make a mold of my teeth...

My dentist needed to make a mold of my teeth, but he screwed up, so he had to make a second one, causing him to waste some supplies.That's why you should always make a good first impression.

The other day my daughter said, "Mold is so gross.".

I told her to "respect its culture."

You know at first, I didn't like the mold I found on my skin.

But then it started to grow on me.

Why did Aristotle believe men could mold themselves through their actions like clay?.

His teacher was Plato.

I made a custom mold by pouring silicone over a crucifix. 24 hours and one epoxy pour later...

and Christ is resin.

Guy goes on a tour at a condom factory.

He is amazed at how the latex is poured into a mold and cooled. Thousands of condoms are being made every minute! But he starts to notice that every 20th condom gets punctured. He asks the guide about it. Guide replies: “we also own a baby bottle company.”

"You won't be able to stop me this time, Captain Food Saver,".

shouted The Moldy Bread at his arch nemesis, who was very tightly bound.

"Ah ha! But there's where you're wrong, Moldy! I brought along an old weapon that you've forgotten about..."

The Moldy Bread ignored the Captain, stating, "It's too late! I've already started up my Mold Machine! My lifelong purpose will finally be fulfilled when all of the world's bread is moldy! Muahahahaha!"

The great sci-fi-looking cannon started whirring and humming. At the last possible moment before the machine fired, Captain Food Saver burst through his bonds and threw a small and very thin sheet of metal in front of the cannon. The blast reflected off the surface of the metal, and back into the cannon, making it collapse in on itself into a rotten and damp pile.

Devastated, The Moldy Bread shouted, "Curse you Captain Food Saver! My plan was foiled again!"

Some guy went to my orthodontist appointment and he had to get molds of his teeth.

I think they got the wrong impression of me

My friend was bragging that they broke the mold that made him.

I said, "yea, my parents are divorced too"

A man working at the Federal Reserve.

A man working at the Federal Reserve was hired to manufacture pennies. On his first day, the supervisor walked him around the manufacturing area. “This first machine melts down large blocks of metal. The liquid metal is then poured into a mold that makes a smaller block. That smaller block ... read more

2 Guys At A Urinal NSFW.

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being ... read more

You can only borrow one tool at a time, either a mold or a step stool.

Will you choose the former or the latter?

I must clean this damp and dark place.

I must break the mold.

What do you call a penis made out of molding clay?.

A dil-doh.

I once set an alarm to tell me when my milk would expire.

Spoiler alert

What happens when the nihilistic veggie molded?.

He didn’t carrot all

Things you can say about your washing machine that you can't to say about your girlfriend.

"She can fit four loads inside her.""Sometimes she gets really noisy during the spin cycle.""If I leave it inside her too long, it starts to smell funny. ""Got her half off, she was a steal!""She always leaves my sheets soaked. ""I've lost so many socks inside... read more

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?.

That's growth.

In the wake of Hurricane Florence, residents of North Carolina are returning home to deal with flood damage, mold, and apparently with the arrival of the President...

Tiny mushrooms.

A good zinger that my friend carpenter used on a doctor.

So this Dr hired my friend (who's a carpenter) to do some work around the house, the doc was curiously looking over my friends shoulder as he was putting a piece of molding to cover his uneven cut. The doc said with a cavalier attitude "that's an easy way to hide your mistakes!" and without thinking... read more