Best 577 P Jokes and Puns

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

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Student: may i use the bathroom?

student: may i use the bathroom?

Teacher: as long as you can recite the alphabet.

Student: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz

Teacher: wheres the p?

Student: running down my leg.

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Ten Things I know about you

1) You are reading this.

2) You are human.

3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.

4) You just attempted to do it.

6) You are laughing at yourself.

7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.

8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.

9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person everyone does it too.

10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.

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An old lady was getting on the bus to go to the pet cemetery with her cat's remains.

An old lady was getting on the bus to go to the pet cemetery with her cat's remains. As she got on the bus, she whispered to the bus driver, "I have a dead p*ssy." The driver pointed to the lady sitting behind him and said, "Sit with my wife, you two have a lot in common."

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One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand.

One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand. The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. "But Miss, I am bursting to go," said Jimmy. "You may go, but after you say the full alphabet." "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z," he said. Catching his mistake, the substitute asked, "Jimmy, where is the 'P?'" He answered, "Halfway down my legs, Miss."

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Girl: You're stupid!

Girl: You're stupid!

Boy:No I'm not!

Girl: okay then sing the alphabet!

Boy Ok here it is a,b,c,e,f,g,h,I,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z. Done!

Girl: you missed out a letter!

Boy: I know I'll give you the d later...

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Me: Can I go to the restroom?

Me: Can I go to the restroom?

Teacher: Say the alphabet first.

Me: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O - Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Wheres the P?

Me: Running down my leg.

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A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile.

A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile. The crocodile tells him, "Please let me go! I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man says, "Okay, I wish my p*nis could touch the ground." The crocodile then bites his legs off.

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Can I get 100 kickass's for no reason?

Can I get 100 kickass's for no reason? :p

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Little jhonny said to the teacher miss i need to pee

little jhonny said to the teacher miss i need to pee

teacher: wait 1 minute

jhonny: miss i need to pee

teacher: sing your alphabet

jhonny: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz

teacher: very good jhonny but were's the p

jhonny: running down my leg

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Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee?

Q: Why cant you hear a pterodactyl pee? A: Because the "p" is silent.

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Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a 1,000 letters?

Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a 1,000 letters? A: Post office.

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Bully: Yo fat ass!!

Bully: Yo fat ass!!!

Nigga: yo wanna know why im fat yo b*tch?

Bully: sure you little titch

Nigga: because every time i f*ck up your girlfriend she gives me a biscuit

Bully; FUCK YOU!!!

Nigga: gotta go biscuit break! :P

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A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Washington DC found himself needing a toilet badly.

A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Washington DC found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any.

And eventually couldn't control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to relieve himself.

Once he had just started, a police official Anant approached him. Police : Hey, What do you think you're doing here?

Pakistani tourist: Sorry I have to "P". Anant : No PP here okay? Follow me...

Anant took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.... Anant: PP here.. have a nice day.

Pakistani tourist: Oh sir... that is very nice of you, is this American courtesy? Anant: No... this is Pakistani Embassy !!

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What starts with p and ends with orn.

what starts with p and ends with orn. if you guessed popcorn you are right

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Random Idiot: Spell ICUP

Random Idiot: Spell ICUP

Me: I C U P Blood. You should get that checked out, you might have aids.

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Redneck and Anna were in bed getting busy when the anna places the his hand onto her pussy.

Redneck and Anna were in bed getting busy when the anna places the his hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says,"Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!".

So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight p*ssy!".

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Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? A: Because the "P" is silent.

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Say this out loud.

Say this out loud. Eye M-A-P NESS

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What goes in long and hard but comes out soft and sticky?

What goes in long and hard but comes out soft and sticky?

A piece of gum you perv! :P

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