Best 18 Jokes and Puns about 'Pedant'

Statistics show that 47% of people are pedantic.

Statistics show that 47% of people are pedantic.

Well, 46.8%.

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After nitpicking a small detail in my friend's story, he said to me "What are you? President of the Pedantic Society?"

After nitpicking a small detail in my friend's story, he said to me "What are you? President of the Pedantic Society?".

Vice President, actually.

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I have an overtly pedantic Chinese friend.

I have an overtly pedantic Chinese friend.

His name is Meticulous Lee.

I'll show myself out...

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"Have you ever broken up with someone over a single character flaw?"

"Have you ever broken up with someone over a single character flaw?".

overcome.

She went “*ahhhhh”* after every sip of a drink.

Drove me close to madness I tell you.

I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking, “Alex, would you really throw away a perfectly good relationship over something so small?”

And you’re probably right.

But I could not get past it.

I’d cringe every time I heard the kettle boiling, knowing full well what was to come.

She’d sit down. Blow cool air through her big, beautiful lips.

Then raise the fine, white china cup to her face and take the smallest, gentlest, baby sip.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

I’m sorry.

Call me pedantic. But it annoyed the living f\*ck out of me.

It didn’t matter what the drink was either.

Tea, coffee, champagne, juice, wine. Anything.

She was one of those “ahhhh” sippers and it was a character flaw I just couldn’t look past.

So I broke up with her. And that was the end of that.

**And also she was sucking some other guy’s dick behind my back for months so there was that too.**

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If I had a penny for every time I was pedantic...

If I had a penny for every time I was pedantic...

I'd have £564.72

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Did you hear that they changed the theme song when they found out the Pink Panther was a Redditor?.

Did you hear that they changed the theme song when they found out the Pink Panther was a Redditor?.

Now it goes pedant pedant....

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My friend once told me "You must be the most pedantic person in the entire world."

My friend once told me "You must be the most pedantic person in the entire world.".

"Third most, actually."

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Wife. "We'd have less arguements it you weren't so pedantic."

Wife. "We'd have less arguements it you weren't so pedantic.".

Me. "You mean fewer?"

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There's this lady who works in a bank...

There's this lady who works in a bank...

... her name is Patricia Wack, but all her friends and colleagues call her Pattie. She's very good at her job. One of those people who pays painful and pedantic attention to detail, does everything by the book, and is generally a bit annoying, but does a great job as a bank teller.

One day, while she's going about her daily tasks, a frog hops up onto her counter.

"I want a loan," says the frog.

"Have you filled out the application?" asks Patricia.

"No," replies the frog. "I don't need to bother with all that bullshit. Just go and get your manager. I've dealt with him before, and he'll give me the loan."

"Hang on," says Patricia, "I don't see any paperwork or ID, and I don't know the first thing about you. I don't know if you're having me on, or trying to defraud the bank. What's your name?"

"Kermit Jagger," says the frog.

"Now you're really having me on," says Patricia. "Get out of this bank before I call the police."

"No, seriously, go talk to your manager," says the frog. He digs around in his pocket and pulls out a Mr Bean Bobblehead. "Take this and give it to him. He'll know what it is."

Patricia reluctantly takes the toy, and walks upstairs to her manager's office. She knocks on the door, and he waves her in.

"What is it, Pattie?" He asks.

"Well, sir, there's a frog downstairs wanting a loan, but has none of the necessary documents or ID. He says he knows you, and to give you this." With that she places the bobblehead on the manager's desk.

The manager looks at it for a little while, smiles and says, "No worries, Pattie. You can go ahead and approve him up to $20,000."

"But sir!!! He has no ID or credit history with him! He didn't bring any paperwork, and won't do this by the book at all! What's going on, anyway? And what is that... toy that he made me bring to you, anyway?? What's that got to do with it?"

The manager sighs, leans forward, and says, "It's a nick-nack, Pattie Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

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A man is stopped by an officer controlling traffic...

A man is stopped by an officer controlling traffic...

The officer is conducting the control rather rudely and is pedantic about the state of the car and the man starts to get annoyed. When the officer finally hands back his papers, the man asks: "would I get into trouble for calling an officer an asshole motherfucker?". The officer makes an angry noise... read more

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What do you call the feverish spread of strongly worded arguments against very lame and badly functioning replacement arms that tell the future while composing strictly written limericks while moving from place to place?.

What do you call the feverish spread of strongly worded arguments against very lame and badly functioning replacement arms that tell the future while composing strictly written limericks while moving from place to place?.

A parapatetic pathetic prophetic pedantic poetic paretic prosthetic polemic pandemic.

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My wife and I have been arguing a lot because she thinks I'm too pedantic.

My wife and I have been arguing a lot because she thinks I'm too pedantic.

So I've started drinking.

She told me, Alcohol isn't a solution.

Actually, I replied it's excellent at dissolving many substances.

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I just did one of those "what noun are you" quizzes...

I just did one of those "what noun are you" quizzes...

and I got "pedantic", which is an adjective.

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My wife is leaving me because I am pedantic.

My wife is leaving me because I am pedantic.

That means overly concerned with details and liking to show off one's knowledge

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What's the difference between a pedant and a pendant?.

What's the difference between a pedant and a pendant?.

One is generally hung from the ceiling and the other is a lighting fixture.

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Why are monkeys pedantic?.

Why are monkeys pedantic?.

Because they love nitpicking.

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My wife told me she thought we'd have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.

My wife told me she thought we'd have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.

I told her 'I think you mean fewer'.

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Earlier today my 6-year old told me I was "being abantic."

Earlier today my 6-year old told me I was "being abantic.".

Jesus, get it right kid. It's pronounced *pedantic*...

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