Best 1383 Puns Jokes and Puns

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

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"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Communication #Doctor #Puns
Say 'addicted' after everything I ask:

Say 'addicted' after everything I ask:

What is someone who does drugs?

What is someone who drinks?

What hit you in the face last night?

Addicted

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Vagina jokes aren't funny.

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

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There are plenty of fish in the sea but until I catch one I'm just stuck here holding my rod...

There are plenty of fish in the sea but until I catch one I'm just stuck here holding my rod...

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What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts?

What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Alcohol #Animal #Money #Puns
I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.

I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #People #Puns #Work
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

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I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next crap could spell disaster.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pun
I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.

I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Flirty #Puns
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, No, wait! I can change.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Communication #Love #Puns
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Attitude #God #Puns
A mexican magician was doing a magic trick.

A mexican magician was doing a magic trick. He said, Uno, Dose, and he disappeared without a trace.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Communication #Puns #Racist
My math teacher called me average.

My math teacher called me average. How mean!

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Puns #School
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pun
When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pun
Enough with the cripple jokes!

Enough with the cripple jokes!

...I just can't stand them.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pun
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Is google a woman?

Is google a woman?

Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pun