Best 1013 U Jokes and Puns

Police: Where do u live?

Police: Where do u live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With Me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbors house.

Police: Where is your neighbors house?

Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.

Police: Tell Me!

Me: Next to my house.

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
Police: Where do u live?

Police: Where do u live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With Me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbors house.

Police: Where is your neighbors house?

Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.

Police: Tell Me!

Me: Next to my house.

Police: Yay

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
Favorite dis if you love some pussy.

Favorite dis if you love some pussy. lame dis shit if u les or gay

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
(Dad's daughter walks up to him)

(Dad's daughter walks up to him)

Daughter- Dad i gotta tell u something...

Dad- Whats tht?

Daughter- I'm a lesbian.

Dad- Okay.

(Dad walks around then his other daughter comes up to him)

Daughter #2- Dad i gotta tell u something...

Dad- Whts tht?

Daughter #2- I'm a lesbian.

Dad- Damn, does anybody in this house like dick?

Son- I do!!!!

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Sex is good, sex is fine.

Sex is good, sex is fine.

doggy style or 69,

just 4 fun or getting paid,

everyone loves getting laid,

so if u want me in the sack,

lick ur lips n kickass me back.

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Boy: There are 20 letters in the Alphabet right?

Boy: There are 20 letters in the Alphabet right?

Girl: 26.

Boy: Ah Heck, sorry i forgot the U R A Q T.

Girl: That makes 25.

Boy: I know I will give you the D later...

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Pick #Up #Line
Dad- Son, u better pass this exam or rather forget that im ur father!

Dad- Son, u better pass this exam or rather forget that im ur father!

Son- Sure dad! Whatever!

~5 hours later~

Dad- Howz ur exam?

Son- Who the hell r u???

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny
Me: I have a magic trick that'll make u forget ur gay.

me: I have a magic trick that'll make u forget ur gay.

friend: I'm not gay...

me: Told ya!

friend: ....dammit

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
Husband: Honey, do u smell that?

Husband: Honey, do u smell that?

Wife: No.

Husband: Yeah, me neither, start cooking.

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny
Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying.

Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying. When his mother ask why he replays . The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that. Mom says cause u black and they white. Next day Tyrone is crying again . What's wrong today Tyrone his mother ask. Tyrone said teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get to 10 why is that. Mom says cause u black and they white. Next day he comes home smiling. What happened today Tyrone. Tyrone says mama we went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all . Is that cause I'm black and they white. Mama says no Tyrone it's cause u 17 and they 6

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Racial
Two boys go into a forest and walk around.

Two boys go into a forest and walk around. Suddenly they see a naked women, then one of the boys run away. The other chases after him. The boy asked "Why did u run away?" The other said "My mom told me if i saw a naked women i'd turn to stone, i already felt something getting getting hard."

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
U R 6 C I 1 2 4 Q

U R 6 C I 1 2 4 Q

Rate kickass if you get it !

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #One #Liner
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day. After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer." Another 20 minutes passes, and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips. The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go f*ck yourself, these are my chips."

Read More
More jokes about: #Boycott these jokes
Guy - I wouldn't go out with u if u were the last person on earth!

guy - I wouldn't go out with u if u were the last person on earth!

me - If i was the last person u wouldn't be here retard!

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
Oh no!

Oh no! Playstation and Xbox online services are down!

Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U.

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny
Teacher: You have a D young man.

Teacher: You have a D young man. What do u have to say for your self?

Me:I know I have a D, just ask your daughter.

Teacher: What!?!?

Me:What?

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
What do u call two Mexicans playing basketball?

What do u call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan-on-Juan.

Read More
More jokes about: #Popular jokes
Kickass if u LOVE dat PUSSY Lame if u LOVE dat dick

Kickass if u LOVE dat PUSSY Lame if u LOVE dat dick

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Crush: Can i tell you something?

Crush: Can i tell you something?

Me: Yeah

Crush: I Love U

Me: Really!!! I can't believe it!! :')

Crush: Yes, it is my favourite vowel

Read More
More jokes about: #Funny
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot the bartender says cool where did u get it the parrot says Africa

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot the bartender says cool where did u get it the parrot says Africa

Read More
More jokes about: #Popular jokes