Best 10000+ Jokes and Puns about 'Womens rights'

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch.

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

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Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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More jokes about: #School jokes
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

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More jokes about: #Blonde jokes
I was in in the public restroom

I was in in the public restroom

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:

"Hi, how are you?"

Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"

Stall: "So what are you up to?"

Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."

Stall: "Can I come over?"

Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"

Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!

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More jokes about: #Funny
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

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More jokes about: #Popular jokes
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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More jokes about: #Family jokes
Them: Bitch.

Them: Bitch.

You: call me a b*tch again i dare you.

Them: Bitch

You: That's right b*tches do what their told.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush.

Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush.

Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit.

Friend: Ok I can see it...

Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there.

Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this.

Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you.

Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl.

Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet.

Friend: I hate you...

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."

The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three english words in a sentence. The three words are 'green,' 'pink,' and 'yellow.'"

The Mexican man thinks , then says, "Hmmm, okay. The phone, it went green, green, green. I pink it up and sez yellow?"

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More jokes about: #Popular jokes
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

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More jokes about: #Popular jokes
Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head.

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

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How fast can you guess these words?

How fast can you guess these words?

1._ _ _ k

2._ _ndom

3.d_ck

Answers:

1. book

2. random

3.duck

You didn't get them right you dirty minded slut!

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
So I go to McDonalds to get a drink when I see this fat girl bullying a mentally disabled kid.

So I go to McDonalds to get a drink when I see this fat girl bullying a mentally disabled kid. So I walk up to her.

Me: You know that can happen to any of us, right?

Girl: Well God gave me a mouth to speak with so I'm going to use it

Me: Yeah? Well God gave you a mouth to eat too, but you abused that privilege, didnt ya?

Girl: -Speechless-

Me: Wipe that ketchup off your chin, too.

Girl: -Wipes chin-

Me: No, your other chin.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying "Hey babe you wanna come over and have sex?"

A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying "Hey babe you wanna come over and have sex?"

Girlfriend texts back "Duh!"

So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. "Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He's on the bottom bunk. If you want it harder, you say tomato. If you want it faster, you say lettuce, and if you want to moan you say any other ingredients that would be on a sandwich."

So they're up on the top bunk having sex, and she's yelling "Tomato! Tomato! Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheese! Cheese!"

Well the little brother is still on the bottom bunk and yells "Hey can you guys knock it off, your getting Mayonnaise all over me!!!"

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
3 years old: My mom is the best!

3 years old: My mom is the best!

7 years old: Mom I love you!

10 years old: Mom what ever!

17 years old: OMG my mom is so annoying!

25 years old: I wanna go back home!

35 years old: Mom you were right

50 years old: I dont wanna lose my mom!

70 years old: I would give everything to have my mom with me!

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More jokes about: #Funny
Boy: There are 20 letters in the Alphabet right?

Boy: There are 20 letters in the Alphabet right?

Girl: 26.

Boy: Ah Heck, sorry i forgot the U R A Q T.

Girl: That makes 25.

Boy: I know I will give you the D later...

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pick #Up #Line
This is the story about a little girl that didn't know what cursing or what sex was.

This is the story about a little girl that didn't know what cursing or what sex was. Two nights before thanksgiving, she heard her parents having sex. Her father said: "Oh honey, I love your luscious tits." Then her mother said: "And I love your slim dick!" The next morning, the girl asked her father what "luscious tits" were. The father panicked. "It's a fine coat." He said. The little girl then asked her mother what a "slim dick" is. The mother panicked and said: "It's a pair of boots." The next morning was thanksgiving, she walked past her father shaving in the bathroom. He cut him self and exclaimed: "Oh, shit!" The little girl asked what shit meant. "I'm shaving right now, sweety" said her father. Then the girl went into the kitchen where her mother was cooking the turkey. She accidentally dropped it on the floor and said: "Oh, f*ck!" "What does f*ck mean?" Asked the little girl. "I'm cooking the turkey right now, sweety." replied her mother. Then the door bell rang. Her mother told her to go open the door and welcome the thanksgiving guests. The little girl walked up, opened the door and said: "Hello everyone! Hang up your luscious tits, drop your slim dicks, my dad's upstairs shitting and my mum's f*cking the turkey."

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?"

I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?"

My simple answer is:

It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Racial
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?"

Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.

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More jokes about: #Funny
“A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"

“A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, there are two left, but I like how you're thinking." Then Johnny asks the teacher, "You see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor. One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream. Which one is married?" And the teacher responds, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!”

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty