Best 191 Yea Jokes and Puns

"Babe is it in?"

"Babe is it in?" "Yea."

"Does it hurt?" "Uh huh."

"Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts."

"Okay, let's try another shoe size."

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More jokes about: #Popular jokes
Redneck: Help!

Redneck: Help! My buddy fell out of the deer stand I think; I think he might be dead.

911: Sir, please calm down; can you make sure he's not alive?

Redneck: Yea, just a sec. *gunshot* Ok, he's dead, now what?

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More jokes about: #Funny #Redneck
Guy calls in to his Boss:

Guy calls in to his Boss:Worker: I can't come to work today. I'm sickBoss: Oh yea! What's wrong with you now?Worker: I have anal glaucoma.Boss: What the hell is that?Worker: I just can't see my ass working today.

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Rearrange these words to make a letter

Rearrange these words to make a letter

1. Pneis

2. Buttsxe

Did you get 1. Spine and 2. Subtext

Yea neither did i

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear?

Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications.

Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant.

Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion! YEA HE IS Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!

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More jokes about: #Funny #Pun
Friend: My dick is so big that it goes from a to z!

Friend: My dick is so big that it goes from a to z!

You: Yea! Just look at your keyboard.

Friend: O.o

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
An Asian lady went into labor and her child came out black.

An Asian lady went into labor and her child came out black. The doctor asked her if she picked a name for the baby and she said, "Yea, Som Ting Wong!" (Something's wrong)

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More jokes about: #Funny #Racial
Did you hear that David Copperfield has aids now?.

Did you hear that David Copperfield has aids now?.

Yea, he was doing Magic.

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More jokes about: #Yea
A vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting.

A vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting.

I said well yea, but people that sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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More jokes about: #E
Elon Musk is so rich his his tow-truck is a rocket ship, his parking garage is space, and he can afford an unlimited data plan with no throttling!.

Elon Musk is so rich his his tow-truck is a rocket ship, his parking garage is space, and he can afford an unlimited data plan with no throttling!.

Yea I mean like no buffering at all.

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More jokes about: #Data
The government is so stupid for having multiple life sentences ...its like yea if you manage to live through one life time... we'll get your ass in the next one.

The government is so stupid for having multiple life sentences ...its like yea if you manage to live through one life time... we'll get your ass in the next one. That makes bout much sense as sterilizing lethal injection needles.

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More jokes about: #Funny
The bum and his amazing taste buds.

The bum and his amazing taste buds.

rabs a glass and gets him a draft of the most generic beer they had Natural light. The bum then chugs it and say's "thanks for the Nattie". "hey how did you know that was a Nattie?" asked the bartender. The bum then explained he can tell what any beer is just by tasting and that he is never wrong. This struck the bartenders curiosity and said " well here have another" and handed him a Bud light. " ahhhhh yeah! that's a Bud light" the bartender said "damn! that's right". The bum having had chugged two beers was getting a little belligerent "give me another one" the bartender gave him another "oh yea! I love Pabst" and the bartender kept on till he went through his complete arsenal of beer on tap. "that's It man now you have to go I gave you 10 free beers" said the bartender while the bum was slapping the counter demanding more. " come on one more fucking beer, now!" yelled the bum. The bartender was now regretting giving the bum free beer and knew he had created a problem for himself. "You want another beer man? OK then let me get you one" he went to the back with the glass and pissed till it was full to the rim and took it back to give it to the bum. He knew the bum would chug it right away in his intoxicated/belligerent state and sure enough he grabbed the glass and chugged the whole thing. The bartender could not contain his laughter and asked the bum " so then, what kind of beer is it now". The bum with a sobered look on his face knowing he had been had said "well, I can't tell you what kind of beer that was but I can say someone in this bar has diabetes".

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More jokes about: #Belligerent
A man walks into a library and asks if there’s any books about turtles...

A man walks into a library and asks if there’s any books about turtles...

Librarian: hardback?Man: Yea with little heads

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More jokes about: #Library #Hardback #Books #Turtle
Yea i may be white but at least I can say..

Yea i may be white but at least I can say..

Hey dad!

Thanks for the warning officer!

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More jokes about: #Yea
So i was in the bar the other day.....

So i was in the bar the other day.....

When i started hearing voices saying "nice shoes" and "lovely smile", I started wondering who was saying it so i went to the bartender and said "Mate, do you know who keeps saying nice things to me" He replied "Its the peanuts mate" I replied "Peanuts, What do you mean" The bartender replied "Yea they're complementary"

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More jokes about: #Yea #Voices
The Alabama doctor was doing an exam. He said to the girl, "Big breaths."

The Alabama doctor was doing an exam. He said to the girl, "Big breaths.".

She said, "Yea, and I'm only 14."

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More jokes about: #Yea #Breaths
A boy, his uncle, and a cat on a farm.

A boy, his uncle, and a cat on a farm.

owed to bring what he can carry, as well as his pet cat. So, he meets with his uncle and despite being a rather harsh man due to his work, he's well meaning. Not to mention, he seems to be quite a fan of cats ever since his wife met an unfortunate end at the hoof of one of the farms horses.

So the boy is going to bed, and he lets the cat out for the night. A few hours later, he wakes to the sound of screaming.

He comes outside and his uncle is running about absolutely swamped in baby chicks and kittens. They seemed to have just sprung up overnight. Hes trying to herd them all into a small, boxed off area but its so damn difficult while trying not to hurt them. The boy, naturally confused, asks what happened.

The farmer replies "Your cat got into the chickens roost", to which the boy replies "Yea, so what?". His uncle promptly shoots back, "haven't your parents told you what happens when you leave a pussy and a cock alone in a house overnight?"

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More jokes about: #Overnight #Harsh
Digging a hole.

Digging a hole.

ehind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. “I can’t stand this,” said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.

“Hold it, hold it,” he said to the men. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with this digging?”

“Well, we work for the county government, ” one of the men said.

“But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You’re not accomplishing anything. Aren’t you wasting the county’s money?”

“You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. “Normally there’s three of us–me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back.”

“Yea,” piped up Mike. “Now just because Rodney’s sick, that don’t mean we can’t work, does it?”

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So, the God decides he needs a vacation...

So, the God decides he needs a vacation...

He goes to meet his travel agent:"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot..."How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price". - ... Been there like 2000 yea... read more

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More jokes about: #Solar #System #Spa #Pillars
A guy who has spent his whole life in the outback of Australia decides he wants a change in his life, so he moves to the city.

A guy who has spent his whole life in the outback of Australia decides he wants a change in his life, so he moves to the city.

He arrives in Sydney, and the first thing he does is looks for a job. He goes to the biggest department store downtown and applies for a job. The HR rep asks him if he has any experience in sales. So the guy says 'yea I was considered one of the best salesmen out Bush'. The rep isn't amused. 'This ... read more

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