Best 193 Z Jokes and Puns

Douche: My dick's so long it goes all the way from A to Z!

Douche: My dick's so long it goes all the way from A to Z!

Me: Yeah? Look at your f*cking keyboard!

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More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father!

Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father!

son: .....

son: sure, whatever dad.

FIVE HOURS LATER

Dad: so how was your exam?

Son: who the hell are you?!

KICKASS IF YOU GET IT

BY MARY Z JING SO MY FRIENDS WILL KNOW

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More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand.

One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand. The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. "But Miss, I am bursting to go," said Jimmy. "You may go, but after you say the full alphabet." "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z," he said. Catching his mistake, the substitute asked, "Jimmy, where is the 'P?'" He answered, "Halfway down my legs, Miss."

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More jokes about: #Popular jokes
Girl: You're stupid!

Girl: You're stupid!

Boy:No I'm not!

Girl: okay then sing the alphabet!

Boy Ok here it is a,b,c,e,f,g,h,I,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z. Done!

Girl: you missed out a letter!

Boy: I know I'll give you the d later...

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Me: Can I go to the restroom?

Me: Can I go to the restroom?

Teacher: Say the alphabet first.

Me: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O - Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Wheres the P?

Me: Running down my leg.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Q: Where can you find the biggest amount of the largest sized women's lingerie in the world?

Q: Where can you find the biggest amount of the largest sized women's lingerie in the world? A: In Africa: there's thousands of Z bras.

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What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Feyoncè.

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Friend: My dick is so big that it goes from a to z!

Friend: My dick is so big that it goes from a to z!

You: Yea! Just look at your keyboard.

Friend: O.o

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
What did Piccolo say to Frieza?.

What did Piccolo say to Frieza?.

Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z.

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More jokes about: #Piccolo
The characters from Dragon Ball Z aren't that super.

The characters from Dragon Ball Z aren't that super.

Just saiyan

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More jokes about: #Characters #Dragon
What did Jay Z say when his friend died?.

What did Jay Z say when his friend died?.

No Biggie.

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More jokes about: #Z
What is the most powerful vegetable in the DragonBall Z universe?.

What is the most powerful vegetable in the DragonBall Z universe?.

Kacarrot

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More jokes about: #Dragonball
A Polish guy goes to the eye doctor.

A Polish guy goes to the eye doctor.

The doctor holds up a chart: K Z S Y X W K P G and asks the man if he can read it. "Read it?" he says, "I *know* the guy!"

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More jokes about: #Polish #Holds
Some people say that Frieza was the best character in Dragon Ball Z, but...

Some people say that Frieza was the best character in Dragon Ball Z, but...

I think his brother was cooler.

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More jokes about: #Cooler #Dragon
What did Jay-Z say when Beyonce released Lemonade?.

What did Jay-Z say when Beyonce released Lemonade?.

I got 100 problems.

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More jokes about: #Z
This punker gets on a bus and takes a seat.

This punker gets on a bus and takes a seat.

His hair's all green, he's got brightly colored tattoos covering his arms and piercings all over his face. Feathers hang from each earlobe. Across the aisle sits an old man who proceeds to stare at him for the next fifteen miles. Eventually the punker gets pretty unnerved and blurts out:

Hey man, didn't you do anything crazy when you were young?

Without missing a beat, the old man replies:

Yeah, when I was in the Navy, I got drunk one night in Singapore and had sex with a Bird of Paradise. I was just wondering if you were my son.

--------------------------------------------

From Mark Z. Danielewski's "House of Leaves".

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A polish guy goes to have his eyes checked...

A polish guy goes to have his eyes checked...

... the doctor says, "Can you read these letters?" as he stands against the wall with a laminated list, each letter getting smaller on the way down.

C

Z

H

Y

C

L

K

V

K

The Polish guy goes down the list and replies, "Of course I can read what it says--it's my cousin's last name!"

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More jokes about: #Laminated
What was Anne Frank's least favorite letter?.

What was Anne Frank's least favorite letter?.

Not Z!

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More jokes about: #Anne
Jay-Z says the same thing when he's at home and when he's at the chemist.

Jay-Z says the same thing when he's at home and when he's at the chemist.

'lemme get some of that Oral B.

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More jokes about: #Z #Chemist
Why did Hitler like most letters.

Why did Hitler like most letters.

Because they were not Z

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More jokes about: #Letter